China(in)Town - Roadside Stalls

Pardon the terrible attempt at punnery with the title. But then, it's in keeping with the topic of this post, if you think about it, really.
The roadside Chinese vendors in the city are just that... Attempts at Chinese. And personally, if you're going to bastardize the cuisine (which I have no problems with, whatsoever) you might as well do it like the street-vendors do.
I mean, honestly, there is nothing more satisfying than digging into a plate of warm rice or noodles that you know you bought for 25 bucks. And this exists. On the road that runs parallel to the main road from Flora Fountain, you have a couple of guys who're hidden amongst the roti-sabji and rice-and-fish guys who sell you Chinese.
This food is freshly cooked, it's catered to your taste. If you ask for extra spicy, they make it that way, or less, depending on you.
The quality is great. I mean, Chinese people would probably hate it. But the truth is, it's a great meal and a cheap one. And the usual worries about food-poisoning are lesser, believe it or not, because the guy is cooking the stuff for you in a kadhai that's been sitting on a flame since he started work at noon. And everything is nicely hammered around by him and his men. So no issues.
Only problem is the grease content. But then, you're eating off the streets... And even restaurants have a higher level of grease, come to think of it...

Other than these guys at Fountain, there's also a guy near the Nirmala Niketan college at Churchgate. He's brilliant. 10-odd bucks more expensive than the Fountain guys, but the food is amazing. I kid you not, he's magical.

Another great place (although horrid for your liver, I'm betting) is the MAFCO stall on Nepeansea road. More expensive than the other guys for sure, but justified by quantity and taste.

Do I sound like someone who has travelled the city looking for Chinese? Yeah, I have actually... These Chinese-food cravings hit me out of the blue...

I found some in Pune as well... Will update that soon :)

Till then, when in Town, and low on cash (along with the YMCA) you should go to the Roadside Chinese guys.

UNIVERSAL-ly Applicable - Cafe Universal, Near CST

Talk about hard-to-reach, this eatery is like the mythical end of the rainbow. It's mentioned all over the place, but ask for directions, and it's the vaguest place in the world.
Look at how I've begun this post for one... Do we know what this place is even called, yet?

Cafe Universal.

It's a very cute little building, reminiscent of Goan shacks, all yellow walls and ornate grilles on the outside. The doors are wooden, the insides cheerfully decorated with wine and beer bottles. There are large benches in the middle of the room, and tables and chairs on either side. There's a bar at the opposite end of the room from the front entrance.

But where is it?

An easy way to get there is to get into a cab and say "RBI". Because just a little beyond the Beserve Bank of India, there is a road that forks towards Chattrapati Shivaji Terminus. You stop there and take the other road. Cafe Universal is right there on the corner.

Once you've reached this mythical place, and make sure it isn't a Sunday morning, or you'll find it closed, you enter and sit.

The menu is extensive. You'll find Chinese, Indian, Continental, and vast varieties thereof. Last I visited, it was pretty nicely within budget, but with the nice big jumps we've been having in prices, I cannot guarantee anything any more. Either way, the food is pretty good. They don't skimp on quantity, nor quality.
Whenever I went, I'd invariably settle on the steak and onions. It was a plate of beef and onions. And flavourful from the first bite right through. Another favourite, if you were sharing with someone, was the OMG. This is a ginormous beef-burger. I kid you not, it's a big burger. I've shared it every single time I ate it. Also, it's one of the more expensive items on the menu. But then, sharing always made it better.
Other than this, there are delicious sizzlers and sandwiches and everything is well-made and tasty.

One warning, though, make time for Universal. Because while sometimes you get everything in good time, there will be at least one time when you will luck out and get the REALLY slow waiter. In which case, there is literally nothing you can do but wait it out.

If you go during the evenings, you get to see quite a large number of foreigners sitting around enjoying their beer and whatnot. You can also see the usual Indian con-artists out for a quick buck or some such. This isn't half bad a place for birdwatching either, if you catch my drift. Better, both price-wise and ambience-wise, than Leopold or Mondegar, this little cafe gets a lot of college clientèle as well. It's not a bad little place to go to.

There was a time when I would have vouched for Universal in no uncertain terms, but since I haven't been there in a long time, I'll play it safe and only recommend.

A year ago, it was value for money. The food was phenomenal, the money I needed to pay for it was peanuts, and the ambience and company were always fantastic.

I sincerely hope it's still the same. It would be a shame to lose such a good memory to reality.

Comfort Food

I live alone in the big, bad world. I have been doing for almost three years, now. The things we sacrifice in the interests of education and a cushy future. It all seemed worth it at the outset, but on hot, tiring days when you know you're not getting lunch back at 'the crib' and you face another meal of toast and orange squash, it's the easiest thing in the world to envision chucking it all and going back home.
And on one such day, your protagonist; yours truly, was trudging along homewards when she saw an interesting sight. There was a large crowd of people standing around an oldish couple standing behind a table piled with large steel containers. It was obviously food, and just as obviously, it was good food. Hungry, and having spent enough time in the city to know that street-vendors are cost-effective, I edged over to see what it was. Imagine my surprise when I saw the lady grab a plate and ladle a vegetable curry, a dry vegetable dish and some rice onto it. Just as I was marveling at my luck (I was planning on getting me some vegetable something to eat with my bread), she pulled out a couple of rotis that reminded me of rotis back home. That did it. I lived in a place where rotis were tantamount to frisbees or jaw-toning exercises. This was just too good to pass up, food poisoning be damned.
So I walk up to them and with all the hesitancy of the new customer, ask about the price.
"15 rupees, roti and vegetable"
I walked off with my prize; 2 rotis and two portions of vegetable, enough for a nice, satisfying, nourishing meal.
I got home and opened it all out and tried a bit. Oh, so good. Having wolfed it down, I was awaiting a digestive disaster, which never came.
I was hooked.
These home enterprises can be found dotting the street corners around busy, office areas. They cater to the on-the-go, low-on-cash clientele who need to eat healthy and run back to work. Some, in the lane that runs parallel to the main road connecting Fountain and Kalaghoda, get more creative. Here you find fried fish, curry and rice, roadside chinese (which will be another entire post), even, recently, biryani. I haven't seen anyone yet drop dead after eating from these stalls, so it isn't just that my stomach is made of stainless steel. But they have their time constraints.
Lunch is the time to go. If you turn up around 3-ish, they'll be cleaning up, and all you'll get is chai. If you're looking for breakfast, then you might find the idli-vada-chutney guys roaming around with their large steel containers in the morning. There is one uncle who sells idli-vada on the turning just before Siddharth College at Fountain, on the same side of the road. I've seen him there often.
If ever in the vicinity, you must, for fun, if nothing, ferret out one of these people. If you're lucky, you'll even get some shira. 

Broth Without Bread? NEVER!

Bread is beautiful.
In fact, bread is the best thing to happen to a hostelite. What can you keep around that won't need maintenance beyond an eye on expiry dates? Bread.
I won't break into song, I promise.
Now, the question is, are we happy with plain old Wibs from the nukkad ka bread wala? Most people are. I like my bread to be good. And cheap. Either-or, sometimes.

As a young, intrepid explorer, I stuck to my safe spots. Gaylord, the bakery-restaurant at Churchgate was where I bought my loaf of bread from. For the simple reason that it was nicer than the packet stuff and it was a LOAF! Although, now, given insanely rising prices, it's the bread I buy in a fit of craziness and when there is an urge to splurge. They have some very good breads, still, though. Baguettes, milk rolls, white, brown, loaves, slices, croissants, puffs, savouries, cakes, they have it all. It's a heavenly place to be in. Plus, you get to use trays and choose what you want and take it to be wrapped up for you.

Next, while hunting for something else, I found a little bakery for pav and brun very near Camy Wafers on Colaba Causeway. With Camy on your left, walk ahead on the same side of the road till you reach a lane on the left, sloping slightly upwards. It is the same lane as the famed Nariman House of the 26/11 terror attacks. Walk down the lane, staring hard at your left till you read "Rex Bakery". They sell fresh pav and brun all day long, and at rates you read about in books your mother read as a child. Maybe that's an exaggeration. But it's good, cheap, fresh, warm, tasty pav.

Another amazing place I found recently (although I've heard of and read of for a while) is Yazdaani. It's this little bakery place in the by-lanes of Fountain. I cannot give exact directions, because I generally play it by ear myself. But ask anyone and they will direct you. Their bread is fresh out of, what they claim to be, a wood oven. I believe them. The pizza bread I bought from there was the most divine bread of any sort that I have tasted in life. At 3.30pm every afternoon, they also sell apple-pies. Little ones, but they impressed me. And I don't much enjoy sweet things. If you have a mind to, you could sit inside and have some buttered bun and chai. Is nice.

However, I am a loyalist. Kayani's at Metro is the place for me. At Metro cinema, with Metro on your left, walk ahead. You'll cross a road, and find yourself at a bus-stop. Opposite, you will find Kayani's. Don't expect anything of the service, it's erratic. But the bun-chai is lovely. And I like the various egg preparations. Also, they have a bakery section where, around 11am everyday, they get newly baked buns. I lived off them during my exams. They also have decent doughnuts, and nice bread, milk bread and WINE BISCUITS! Among other biscuits as well, not just those. But those are my favourite. Must go. Really.

As of now, I can recall only this. Be warned, I love bread. If I find a nice bread-place, I will mention it.

Sheep in the Big City

Mumbai is the city to head to if you're looking to make it big in the glamour world. At least, that's what all Hindi movies or urban legends told by mothers to their kids about the big bad world teach us. Mumbai, the city that never sleeps; the place where dreams come true; where, literally, ships come in. But the truth of the matter is that living in Mumbai does not mean that you're suddenly transported into the big league. You don't hobnob with the stars and dine with the elite the moment you begin to breathe the air here. One look at the streets every morning, and you know that not all the people who live here have roofs over their heads. However, rich or poor, bed or street corner, you have to eat. And food is one thing that this city manages rather well for almost all its inhabitants. Whether we're talking about spending a hundred a head, or ten, we can find something for you. At least, that's the endeavor. The problem is, it's a large city and I have enjoyed it longest as a poor low-on-funds college student confined to the most expensive part. This will be the tale of my trials and tribulations and all those triumphant moments when a still-heavy wallet allows you to give a belch of VFM satisfaction.